Anatomy of a Trick Email

Alright so I opened up my email today and found a gem of a fake email. Not quite as good as those Nigerian princes who want you to send money, but at least it had a little bit of tact.


Hello                                                                                       
I'm very happy to meet you,
Compliments of the day!
How are you ? hope you are doing well, I am  malvina Justin, A lovely girl, I am looking for a reliable and trusted person. I believe we can get acquainted, so if it interests you, please reach me back here for further communications. I stop here awaiting your responds.
Please get back to me so that I will send my photo to you and tell you more about my self. A good friendship is the foundation build on other relative things to come.
May God bless you as I wait impatiently to read from you..
Regards,
malvina Justin



Alright malvina, in America we capitalize of first name too for starters. Second, in America, Justin is really not a last name. I looked through my fucking dusty phone book, there were three Justin's. And if you meant it to be your first name, then you are a dude.

Also, does this shit ever work? I mean I think match.com and that type of shit is sketchy. So what are the chances I will want to get "acquainted" with someone who emails me. I mean of course I believe this person is "reliable and trusted" but you lost me with this gem, "A good friendship is the foundation build on other relative things to come." From what I can tell this is two sentences in one. But either way do I seem like the type of guy who tolerates morons? (This was in my blog email inbox)

And then malvina, you made the worst mistake of your clunky little email. "May God bless you as I wait impatiently to read from you..." Alright you fucking clown. Assuming that your random email recipients believe in god enough to include it makes me want to fly to Russia and kill you with my bare hands. And you are waiting impatiently to read from me? Bitch I'm blogging all day. Try plugging the Blathering with your Russian overseers. I need some press. The only two people who impatiently wait for me are my mother and my girlfriend. Nice try pawning your mail-order sluts off on me, Soviet Russia.