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Thursday, February 17, 2011

Is Nothing Sacred? IBM Rapes Jeopardy

So if you have been living under a rock for the past week. IBM's computer made to play Jeopardy, named "Watson" raped the shit out of his human competition. Kenn Jennings, Jeopardy genius, was even astounded by Watson's ability to rape him and Brad Rutter. Watson racked up a $77,147 total compared to Jennings $24,000 and Rutters $21,600.

This is the end of humanity as we know it. Take a nice wholesome game of intelligence like Jeopardy and let IBM take over. They ran fucking ten minutes of IBM ads on each show and then between IBM promotion everyone just sat back and watch Watson tear apart the board. If you are a fan of Jeopardy, it was the worst day in the show's history. I'm sure the ratings were insane compared to the usual ones, but come on. It was almost painful to watch two guys who rip Jeopardy to shreds just sit there while a computer answers everything.

This is the first signal of the apocalypse. IBM is going to turn Watson into fucking Skynet from Terminator and then the only person who can save us is the Governator. It's about to pop off all because IBM had to show off their fucking sweet technology. Great guys, you won Jeopardy with a Google-searching computer. And now we're all fucked.

All your base, are belong to Watson

The one thing that confused me though was in final Jeopardy the second day, the category was U.S. cities and Watson threw Toronto out there. Now don't be fooled, he just wanted to pull up so that we wouldn't all be completely terrified that he knows all. He just threw one to make us feel better. Don't fall for it. He will destroy us all. Fuck you IBM, I see through your bullshit.

Here is Jenning's take on the whole thing.

1 comment:

  1. money well spent if you ask me. whats next? robot american idol? watson's voice was sexy. robot price is right? family feud should be safe cuz robots still can't reproduce, right ibm, right???

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